Lillian Update 2

   I'm exhausted today.Lilly was awake and throwing her first horrendous fit by 7:45 am this morning...Gee,what a way to start the day lol I have no clue what even set her off because she had just woke up and when I opened her door she was screaming,I promptly shut the door and left the room until all was quiet for a good ten minutes.It took her approximately 20 minutes to calm down,when I reentered her room it looked like a tornado had went thru it,completely trashed.I haven't gotten it cleaned up again yet,was saving the task for after nap so if it happens again at least she can have a clean room for the afternoon and evening.
   Last week,I took her tv out of her room,packed up almost all of the toys,took out her dresser and clothes and removed anything she could completely destroy or get hurt on.Of course she has her bed and pillows and blankets,but refuses to sleep in the bed and sleeps on a blanket on the floor,even after I tuck her into her beautiful log bed my dad made for her,with her beautiful handmade kitten quilt with matching pillowcases and curtains I made for her room :( I guess I can take solace in the fact that at least she is sleeping on her kitten quilt on the floor lol
   It makes me so sad to see my little girl such a mess,even now as I'm typing the tears are running down my face because its so hard to see such a perfect child on the outside and wonder what is going on inside,in my mind disabilities such as Autism are so much harder than physical disabilities such as Cerebral Palsy.I have worked with severely physically disabled children since I was 17 years old,and this is by far the hardest child I have ever worked with.Funny how that works beings she is my own biological child whom I love and adore with all my heart.
   I couldn't even begin to imagine my life with out my girls,I would be so lost without them to fill the dull moments in my life.I love them so much,everything about them.I love spending time with them,teaching them different things,taking them to the park,reading stories,praying together,baking together,I even enjoy cleaning their rooms and doing their laundry.Yes,being a mum is definitely the hardest full time job I ever had,but I wouldn't change it for all the money in the world.