Thursday, September 15, 2011


   OK,I have a confession to make.....
   I am a bad mommy....

   After a couple weeks of no paci and Lilly screaming uncontrollably for hours I finally gave her the damn thing back.And guess what? She doesn't want to suck on it,but likes to carry it around in her beloved backpack,but....
    I also gave the girls back their TVs.I was desperate for quietness during nap and bedtime.I don't believe any kid should have a TV in their room however the screaming was wearing on my sanity,and I decided if she wants to lay in her room and suck on a paci while she watches a learning show then SO BE IT! lol of course it was only fair to give Daisy hers back too and she has been going to bed quietly each night and both girls have been asleep within 30 minutes. SO,even tho I know this isn't the best solution to our problem it is a temporary fix and has helped me get some much needed quietness and gain a little sanity back before the next wave hits.
   I think all parents,but especially parents of special needs kiddos make compromises and some aren't exactly stellar decisions but they help us and our little ones cope with life and the  situations we have been given.I love both my girls ever so much and there are days I wish things were much,much different,but they aren't and so I have to find ways to work with what we have and make life a better place for everyone involved.

I think We Skipped Fall?

   I think we may have skipped fall and went directly into winter!Its 39 degrees out at 9:30 this morning.Its foggy and wet.Daisy is hoping for snow lol me,I'm just hoping it warms up just a few degrees so we can go grocery shopping.
   My crock pot is already getting a workout,yesterday I made sauerkraut,potatoes and sausage,it slowly cooked throughout the day,it was delicious.Today I'm really contemplating hearty homemade vegetable soup,somehow the weather seems so perfect for a steaming pot of soup.
   Last night after dance we came home,slipped into flannel jammies and drank hot cocoa and ate toast,then we watched a movie before bed,it was the perfect evening.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

My Girls

   I totally love both my girls with all my heart and some days I feel like Daisy doesn't get as much attention as she needs and deserves,being 4 and my oldest so I have been trying to incorporate allot more time with just Daisy into my schedule.For instance,keeping Daisy up during Lilly's nap time or even 30 minutes after Lilly goes to bed.It really seems to be helping Daisy and its such a blessing to me to get to watch her learn and develop,I cant believe how big she is already.I love spending time with her,making things with her,reading her stories and just enjoying visiting with her,it is always a special time for both of us.We have been playing with the fake makeup I made and also with these crazy colored wigs Daisy loves,I have just been really enjoying her company :)


Sunday, September 11, 2011

Daisys Fall Leaf Banner

   Today Daisy and I cut out felt leaves to make a fall leaf banner,we cut all different colors then I sewed them together for her while we sat and watched Shrek,we had a really nice calm quiet morning :)excuse the Mountain Dew lol I was getting a migraine and needed the caffeine lol  

Just a Little Lilly Update

   I took Lilly off of all dairy a week ago,we first decided to try Coconut milk,along with coconut yogurt and veggie cheese,dairy free pizza,etc,etc,you name it we got it to try to make the change a little easier and less noticeable for her.

   Well,she is allergic to the coconut milk and her face broke out in a horrible,hot,red rash and she got terrible diarrhea,coconut milk=no go.I felt so bad for her,she was so miserable.

   So last night we switched back to rice milk,so far so good.

   Her behaviour seems a little better at this point and she doesn't complain that her tummy hurts anymore,so hopefully we are on the right track.

  Today she is happy and delightful,she laid down for a nap quietly and peacefully for the first time in a long time.I have high hopes things will start getting better in the long run.

   She is nearly potty trained,she never has pee accidents (except at bedtime) and wears panties all the time,she does really well going out and about and staying dry.Poo on the other hand,well,lets say she almost has it figured out lol each morning before bath we sit her on the potty (knowing that's when she has a bm daily) and usually she sits until she goes,then she gets lots of praise and lots of stickers to put on her chart.Then again before nap time (a usual time of feces smearing) I put her on the potty and have her sit until she poos again,so far so good.I think it is helping? lol

   However,she will NOT sleep in her bed but chooses to sleep anywhere and everywhere EXCEPT her bed lol she has a beautiful handcrafted log bed my dad built for her but it is untouched :(Not only does she like to sleep in weird places,we have a HUGE routine she has to go thru every night to make her "bed" on the floor(her doctor assumes its due to the severe OCD),its almost comical but can be very frustrating lol like last night  I did it all the way she always wants it,Princess blanket laid out first princess facing West (lol yeah I know) pink minky pillow at top of princesses,woody,baby,kitty,on the left side,goofy on right side,butterfly blanket over pillow,with Garfield next to her.Wrap her up tightly in Dora blanket then she is set,well except she is getting too long to fit in the Dora blankie so her feet stick out then she screams and I have to recover her and wrap her,then her hand sticks out and we start over again,then its something else yet again.Well,anyhow last night I so proudly laid it all out for her while she was going potty,proud of myself that I remembered every long drawn out obsessive compulsive step,I called Nick to come see her perfectly made floor bed and told him"get a good look you may need it one day if I'm gone" Then Lilly comes in.....
   She says"not want it like this" and with one arm scoops my perfectly combobulated mess into a big heap across the floor and says "I sleep here tonight" and threw it all down in a bigger,less organized mess and burrowed down into it.Sigh,so much for learning her technique lol Nick left the room howling with laughter.I gotta say it was pretty funny  and I will not attempt to learn her methods or it will all make me crazy long before I am old :)

   Oh,how I love this little girl,she is so special,but some days I fear for Daisy that she will become a lost child in the midst of all the day to day struggles with her sister,but I am trying so hard to have just special times with her too.Its hard to balance everything out but we are doing the best we can from day to day :)

We Will Never Forget

   We will never forget the victims whose lives were claimed on 9-11-2001.
   I don't remember what I was doing on that exact day ten years ago,however I do remember the sadness that filled my heart for the many families who lost loved ones in the horrible tragedy.
   Today I am filled with extreme gratefulness to God for giving me my wonderful family and that they are still here for me to care for.As hard as it is to be a parent of a special needs child sometimes  I wouldn't trade it for the world.I know there are days I have grumbled or complained that I have to clean up when Lilly poos or pees in her room,or that I have to scrub all the poo off her walls sometimes multiple times a day,or that I have to do laundry or dishes.Today,I realized I cant complain because these are all great privileges I have been given.From now on when I have to clean up after Lilly's tantrums I'm going to thank God that I GET to clean up after her,or thank God that I have my family I GET to take care of and serve.   
   Many families from 9-11 would give everything they had to spend time with the loved ones they lost so I am not going start thanking God for everything He has given me.
   My deepest sympathy to the families of 9-11,to the victims,you will never be forgotten.