Its that time again...

   Its that time of year again,Christmas has just ended,the tree has been taken down and put away,ornaments boxed up and returned to safety,and honestly I feel a little depressed and let down.Christmas is my very favorite time of year and I always hate to see it leave,however on the upside it also means we are being given a brand new year,a brand new slate to write upon.I have some new goals for myself for the next year (I really hesitate to say new years resolutions cuz most resolutions are lost within weeks of being made) and I really hope to be able to uphold them and to make the changes in my life I need to make.Here a list I made for myself,not in any particular order
1.Start exercising and lose weight
2.Get Lilly on a set gluten,corn and dairy free diet
3.Find a church where we can be happy and worship God
4.Find a house with a yard
5.Pay off our biggest bill of $2100
6.Get Lilly's sensory room completed

Stopping by

   Time is rapidly flying by,once again the holidays are upon us full swing.I can hardly believe CHristmas is nearly here already.I still have a few last minute gifts to finish up for family members,such as 2 aprons for mum and my sister,glittery play doh for my nephew,and a pieced lap quilt.I am nearly done my first cross stitch ever!Im making it for my mum,because over the years she has made so many for others and always given them away so I decided to make her one.For me this was liek the ultimate sacrifice,because for me cross stitching is a NIGHTMARE lol for some reason I cannot seem to wrap my brain around the whole counting tiny squares concept.But I can sew an entire wardrobe for my girls in 2 days...Go figure lol
   I have been trying not to bake much this year at all,I do not want to gain even one more pound!lol but since I grew up in a long line of bakers,this has been dreadfully hard for me!

Our Simple Hamdmade Advent Calender

   I made a really big,beautiful Christmas Banner Countdown out of felt,complete with daily Bible lessons,but it is way above the girls this year so we put it away and I made a small one out of a dollar tree cookie sheet,craft paper,and mini tree ornaments.It is perfect for the girls this year and they love it!

Another Beautiful day

   It is very cold and snowy outside,venilla candles burning,hot steaming pumpkin spice latte and hot apple turnovers,Yummy!Life is so good.

The Many Hairdos of ME!

   So I been thinking there aren't alot of pics of me on here  so I decided to drudge up the past a little and put some of my pics from past few years on so you all can see what I have looked like :)All the way from my crazy days...You get to see a progression thru the years lol...Gotta say I have grown up alot,finally,or not lol I really went through a super hard time after Daisy was born,after 17 weeks in the hospital Daisy and I finally were released,went to my parents for a few weeks while I was looking for an apartment,my folks pretty much disowned me and we were homeless for almost 5 weeks while looking for a place to live,we were in and out of motels and I was really hurting and lonely.To this day I take my emotional struggles out on my hair and tattoos and piercings as a way to deal with my personal pain,I have alot of tattoos and piercings  but most are in places I can cover if I need to. I hope you all can look beyond the physical appearance and see me for who I really am.Blogging is a place where I share the struggles of our day to day lives,living with Autism ,and where I can vent if I need to.
   I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

Poor Lilly

  
Wow,Almost 2 1/2 weeks into Lilly being sick,and we still have no clue what is going on.We have done a stool sample,multiple blood tests,and a celiac panel.All results have come back negative except the celiac panel,we are still waiting for results which should be here in the next day or two.
   I have to admit I'm exhausted,it was been a couple of very long weeks filled with cleaning up vomit and diarrhea.On payday I'm going to invest in a plastic tarp to cover Lilly's whole bedroom floor.I'm so afraid the carpet is going to be ruined and we rent so I cant have that :(
   I feel so bad for my little girl,she is so miserable and spends most of her time curled up under a blanket watching movies or on my lap.I have tried to just put all my housework aside and give her my all,but its hard as we are nearing 3 weeks of her being sick.
  

11-11-11

   11-11-11
   There,I finally got to type the date lol I know Im a dork but somethings in life make me smile and getting to see that long row of 1s is one of them :)
   A huge thank you going out to my Brother,my Uncle,my Grandfather and the many,many others who are fighting or have fought for our country and our freedom!These men have given everything to fight for OUR freedom,so many people do not understand the sacrifices these men have made for us and our families.
   My heart goes out to the many families who have lost their loves ones as they fight for our country.

   God bless the men and women who have left everything and are fighting for our freedom!

Pressing the Limits

   A few nights ago we went to a Pressing the Limits conference.It was really good.Nationally know bodybuilder Jon Bruney did allot of things and put his body through allot just to show the audience what Jesus Christ has done for us.Here are a few pictures of him and what he does,these are pics I pulled off his website so not the actual conference we went to but same type of thing.(my pics didn't turn out very well lol)The girls loved it and sat very good,they even got pieces of the bricks he broke and gothim to sign them,it was a fun evening even though Lilly was still so sick.

Lilly

   Yesterday morning I took Lilly to the doctor because she is still vomiting and having severe diarreah.They had no answers for us except to do a fecal sample and see if it turns anything up.So we left the hospital with these items in hopes we could find answers.

   Last night we finally got a s sample and rushed off to the hospital lab to drop it off before the time frame was up.
   Lilly has always been on and off diets,she is off most dairy,but now we have switched to ALL NONdairy items for her.She is now also on a completely Gluten free diet again,also eliminating sugar and processed foods.So last evening we went to the health food store and stocked up on  items for her her,finding many of them on sale was such a blessing!We even foundRice Egg nog!I was so excited for Lillys sake!

OUCHIE!!

   I hurt my back somehow.I think maybe I pulled muscle or something?It hurts like the dickens,so today it is relax and take it easy,except for one thing....

   This man is going to be here putting on a free concert tonight!I have always wanted to see Carman and Im really hoping we can make it!

Lillian Update

   Lilly has been sick off and on for 6 days now.Alternating between horrendous diarreah and vomiting.The fever seems to be gone for now,I had finally decided maybe she was better til tonight....She threw up all over her bedroom floor,I have cleaned up enough yucky stuff this week to last me awhile,but hey,at least she figured out to get out of bed and vomit on the floor(I just put all clean bedding on her bed tonight!) lol Im getting worried because this seems so out of character for her,but since she cannot tell me what is wrong I have been trying to guess,giving motrin,7up,pedialyte,at different times.Poor girl,breaks Mommys heart when either of them are sick :(  ( Lilly not feeling well this week)

   On a happier note Lilly is finally seeing a Pediatric Developmental Specialist on Thursday,the specialize in Autism,Developmental Delays,and Sensory Issues.I am very excited for this appointment and I so hope I am not disappointed in the doctor.I hope and pray they finally have some answers for us.I almost think the hardest special needs have to be the unknown ones that nobody has answers for.I have struggled for almost 3 years with some pretty strange stuff with Lilly and begged our Ped for answers he doesnt have,its frustrating to say the least!
   We had a playdate with a friend yesterday (I truly thought Lilly was well again or I never ever would have taken her out!)whose little boy is 14 months younger than Lilly and it was kind of upsetting to see that Lilly is pretty much on the exact same age level developmentally other than the fact that Lilly can talk more (if she chooses to) but other than that she layed on tne floor and played with a couple small toys but setting them in a frisbee,or sitting in my lap.
   I have been watching her closely the past month or so,well ever since I went to a big Autism conference,and its so hard to describe her except she is-Lilly lol my little girl who has a few very strange quirks and is anti social lol.Some days I try to will myself into believing its all in my head but then something happens and it all just slaps me hard in the face (usually at like 2:30am) when I wake up to feces all over the floor and wall,her face,hairbed,everything.Nights like that in the past I sat down and cry,and I beg God why? Why my little girl?Why me?I think I have finally gotten to a point in my life that I just thank God for giving her to me and for not taking her away the different times she has quit breathing or been so sick.Honestly I struggled in the beginning,dont get me wrong,I always loved her with all my heart but it was extremely hard to bond with a new baby that never slept or quit screaming.There were days,many days I laid her in her crib and shut the door and went and took a hot shower or listened to music for a few moments just to get calmness in my heart.I still have days like that,but they are much fewer and farther in between,I have learned how to cope with the stress,not like before when we were barely surviving.
   First of all,I always get up and shower and dress BEFORE I get the girls up.I need that little bit of time to pamper myself before I start my day.
   Secondly,the girls lay down for 2 hours EVERY afternoon,I need that time in the middle of the day to relax or get caught up on things,have a hot latte,and some days I take a short nap.I wouldnt let myself nap for the longest time because I told myself I was wasting precious time I could be using to scrub the kitchen floor or fold laundry,I have learned if Im exhausted it is ok to nap so I am refreshed when the girls wake.
   Thirdly,bedtime is at 7pm EVERY night unless it is a very very special occasion like Halloween or Performance night (for Daisy).Not only does that give me and Nick time alone to spend together relaxing it also keeps Lilly on a tight schedule and she seems to do much better that way.She will now bring me her blanket at betime and ask to go to bed if I am even running a few minutes late.
   Fourthly,I have learned to say NO when people call me and ask me to do something or give someone a ride,if Im feeling overwhelmed I now say "No,Im sorry I cant today" this was a very,very hard one for me because I have always over extended myself for other people and I have realized my girls and my home now must be my top priority.
   Alot of days I feel like poor Daisy gets cheated out of time that should be set aside for just her so on occasions I have been getting Daisy up from Nap early or letting her stay up a little later after Lilly goes to bed,Some nights I lay in her bed with her and just spend time talkign with her and enjoying her,I always want her to know how much I love her.She was such a good girl today even I was surprised lol she sat and snuggled with Lilyl while they watched Happy Feet (Lillys favorite movie)even tho it wasnt her choice of movie then she helped me pick uup all the toys and make Lillys bed fro her.I love Daisys sweet caring spirit,she is so much fun to be around.

HELP! Why cant I post comments?

  I seriously cannot post comments on mine or anyone Else's blog still.I cannot figure it out.No matter how I log in it says I don't have permission to even post comments on my own page?Has anyone else had this problem?Do you know how to fix it????

Poor Lilly

   Poor Lilly has not been feeling well for a couple days

she was throwing up yesterday and then had horrendous diarrhea all night.I washed all of her bedding and blankie,scrubbed carpets,and bathed her multiple times since last night.I'm exhausted,but Daisy has dance tonight and she kind of cannot afford to miss it because her huge performance is in a couple weeks so practice times are limited and now we are down for the count!

   So hoping for a better night tonight for all of us!Nick went and got her some pedialyte and she is enjoying it so I suppose that is good,I hate giving her artificial sugary stuff like that but she needs to gain her energy back and be well hydrated.
   We got about 8 inches of snow last night and it is supposed to snow again tonight so Im debating of whether or not I should go get groceries to stock up or not today.I really dont  want to drag poor Lilly out although the weather is beautiful right now so maybe I should anyhow lol not to mention I need to stock up on a few medical items such as tummy meds,motrin,tylenol,pedialyte,cough drops etc.It would be nicest to be prepared for sickness unlike last night....lol
   I cut out 2 more sweater dresses for the girls last nightbetween scrubbing the floor and bathing Lilly lol I hope to sew them tonight while the girls are in bed,they have quickly become a favorite in our house!Not only for the girls but for me as well!I love to sew them they are so quick and easy and the girls always look so sweet in them with tights,and they are sooo versatile!

Halloween!

   Halloween was sooooo much fun!
   The girls loved every freaking second of it,and let me tell you they are pretty darn good at conning ppl out of their candy!Some how they brought home about 10lb of this stuff!

   Daisy went as Rapunzel from the movie Tangled

   Lilly went as Dorothy from the Wizard of OZ

   We carved 4 pumpkins then forgot to take pictures lol So I went and snapped a pic of one of them on the porch in the snow,it actually looks quite pretty sitting out there tonight :)

 
   All in all I would say Halloween was a success this year everyone had tons of fun!

Happy November 1st!

    ITS NOVEMBER 1st!!!!

   It was a beautiful,warm fall day.We were all dressed pretty lightly when we went out,the girls and I only wore jeans and long sleeved t shirts,there was no need for jackets and Im telling you,for fall it was BEAUTIFUL!Then tonight the weather took a drastic turn for the worse!Now,it looks like this outside!

   We are predicted to get at least another 8 inches tonight!Im afraid its gonna be a harsh winter  for all us here.

my how time flies

   Hard to believe tomorrow is already Halloween isn't it?The candy bowl is ready,girls costumes are ready,pumpkins carved the,house is decorated,fog machine is ready and,now just down for the wait til tomorrow evening.We havent decided if we are going out and about yet or not.The weather has been very calm since the last blizzard(we got 12 inches!)most of the snow has already melted but the evenings are pretty chilly now.
   This is the first time we have ever went all out for Halloween,i was raised in a home where the only holiday we celebrated was Christmas and birthdays,so it has been a bit of a struggle for me to get into the mood,but I think I have finally made it!
   Tonight Nick and I are going to have a mini-at-home-date after the girls are asleep,I'm excited to be able to spend time with him alone as we have been ever so busy lately :)
    I Hope everyone has a wonderful evening!(I so fell in love with this pic lol)