Girls

Girls

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Reality of the Nightmare of Child Abuse-Personal

Dear Nichole,
   Seven long hard years have passed since you were murdered,O how I remember how much you loved (shocate) frosty from DQ,I remember how terrible I felt when you smashed your little fingers in the car door,I remember your first day of school,I remember taking you to the park to play with your baby sister,I remember how much I loved doing your brown curly hair and dressing you up so pretty,I remember that you were always  happy even through the horror you lived thru every day at the hands of your birth parents,I remember too well the day I received the call that you were being removed from life support at 2pm, you went be with Jesus 20 minutes later,this was a joyous time for you,sweet innocent girl,however baby it was hell for me, I wish I could have died to keep you safe or done more to protect you,I was fighting with DFS to bring you home as my daughter from the moment you went into foster care,your funeral was torturous I desperately wanted it to be a nightmare,hoping I would wake up any moment,but looking at the burns and bruises covering your body I knew this nightmare was reality and I also knew I had failed you terribly,I'm so sorry I could not save you from the evils of these pathetic people honestly baby I have fought many personal demons over your death.I remember a blinding pain taking over my whole life & wanting to kill the foster mother who so cruelly took ur life from you,her job was to PROTECT you and help you heal from the past.I remember the last time I saw you alive,it was hell for me,how I wanted to take you into my arms and run as fast and far away from those people,the people who ultimately ended your life a short time later.They say time heals all pain,but apparently they don't know what they are talking about because time does not heal the pain,however it does make it easier to live with.Now I picture you singing and dancing with the angels & sitting with Jesus  living a glorious pain free life full of the excitements of heaven and when I picture this I'm almost glad you were spared having to live with the abuse and horrors  of your past.I realize now that no matter how awful or tragic ur death was,your life still was full of meaning and purpose.You are my inspiration Nikki, I look at my beautiful girls and think of you and realize that tomorrow they could be dancing with you,I don't want to regret anything else they way I regret the way you died,but I want to thank you for helping to teach me the meaning of life and for teaching me that  life is never so hard I can't thank God for every day He gives me,you will always be in my heart,I love you baby girl xoxo Love,Sally
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx4RsCfL_fA



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