Girls

Girls

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Lilly

    I love Lilly so much but maybe it is time for me to let go of the ideas I have and just try to love her without wanting any kind of love in return.I am crying as I write this because I know full well being a mum isn't easy,but honestly there are days I feel like God gave me way more than I can handle and that He didn't prepare me at all for what he was giving me.Today I feel like I was dropped into all of this not knowing anything,and I am overwhelmed and discouraged.
    Lilly has become so grouchy and mean the past few days,I think the move is taking its toll on her and she isn't coping very well.Both girls have their own rooms now and Nicks mum bought all new bedding and curtains and pillows  so everything is new and poor Lilly doesn't know how to deal with it all.On top of it all she is sick and got a nasty cold and runny nose which isn't helping.
   She has screamed and cried constantly and its getting hard to listen to at times,I have tried everything,I bought new movies,a new toy,everything to try to occupy her time for more than 30 seconds but to no avail.
   Lilly has also started this new high pitched scream/squeal whenever she is upset and truthfully its almost worse than the screaming if you can imagine that lol
   I feel like a really bad mum when I see my child in such a state of misery,I try to comfort her and she head butts me in the face,I try to hold her,she screams,I try to do typical mother/daughter things with her,I do her hair and she just rips it out,I do her nails and she rubs the polish off before its even dry,I take her shopping and she screams nonstop.Its the most frustrating thing to have a child who you love with all your heart who seems to not care if you live or die at only 2 yrs old.
     I need to give Lilly tylenol for her fever,then she is going down for a nap. Daisy is waiting to watch a new movie we bought them and my coffee is brewing.
   As soon as it is quiet I'm going to spend some time in prayer and the Bible begging God for guidance for instructions on how to help my little girl.If you all think about it please throw some prayers out there for us today,it is a really rough one!

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