Motherhood,a Thankless Job?

   I just cant seem to wrap my brain around Lilly's diagnosis of Autism.
   I don't know why it is so hard for me to accept,other than the fact that Autism is the diagnosis of doom here,there is no support for parents of autistic kids anywhere near,nothing,no resources,no parent support groups,no play groups,nothing at all.
   I had finally talked myself into believing Lilly is a typical kid with some strange little quirks UNTIL this morning.I have finally had to come to terms with the fact that no matter what Lilly is different than most typical kids,she is not "normal"
   I cried out of utter frustration and sheer exhaustion.I feel at times like I'm losing my mind with that child.I feel like I can do nothing right when she is around.She screams about 18 hr a day 7 days a week.She continually throws stuff at me,she hits me in the face,she bites,she scratches,she head butts.She is just not very nice to me and honestly,it hurts my feelers a little bit.My world revolves around my kids and doing what is the best for them,keeping them safe and healthy,and making sure they are only served healthy meals every day.In return some days I feel like the kids love me even less the harder I try for them.
   I don't think Nick realizes how hard I do work,no I may not make a paycheck at 40 hrs a week outside of the home.Instead I'm on call 168 hr a week,without a moment to call my own,even my resting time is in between caring for a three yr old with night terrors and a 2 yr old who only sleeps a total of maybe 3 hr of sleep spread out through the night.
   I cook,I clean,I do laundry,I wash dishes,I bath and dress children,I hold and snuggle crying upset babies,I kiss owies,I read stories,I pick up toys,I teach life skills, EVERY moment of EVERY single day of the week.
   Being a mother with small children feels like a thankless job at times,but honestly I wouldn't trade it for the highest paying job in the world,because being a mum to special needs kiddos is the highest calling a woman could ever have.Even if it feels like nobody cares,like what I do is worthless I know my girls couldn't make it through the day without all I do for them.I have to think of other children all across the world who do not have parents who care about them as I care for my own,then I think of the many parents out there who have lost their children thru tragedy and I think I have nothing to complain about,instead I thank God for the dear little girls he GAVE to me to take care of and raise for HIM!