Today Is MOVING DAY!! at long last!

   Today is finally moving day!I am totally overwhelmed.The trucks wont be here til 3 pm so I still have a few hours to accomplish stuff.Lilly must not like the impending change,she has cried all morning and will not calm down,she is clinging to my legs and tripping me everywhere I go.Im exhausted from staying up late packing last night after the girls went to bed but man,it sure was easier that way!
   So,tonight we will sleep in our new house,and the girls will each have their own rooms so that will be nice.
   Well,heres a few pics of the mess I got going on right at this moment lol

   Last night I wanted to do something special with Daisy,I kinda feel like she has been lost in the hustle of moving and Lilly's screaming fits.So after Lilly went to bed I let Daisy stay up later than usual and I trimmed all her nails and painted them and she was soooo happy.She is such a typical girly girl and I love it!

Daisys New Spring Dress

Autism Freaking Sux

   Honestly its been a horrible day with Lilly today,she has screamed all day nonstop.She refused to eat her dinner or even sit at the table long enough to even think about eating it,she screamed in the bath and screamed during her movie,she screamed while I brushed her teeth,she screamed about her sippy cup,she screamed and screamed some more.It has been a nonstop thing all day,the whole time I was packing she was either screaming or sneaking into stuff such as jellybeans,cookies,fridge,trash,closets,kitchen cupboards,etc.
   I'm getting a migraine and I'm so exhausted I cant even think anymore,but I cannot go to bed because Lilly is refusing to go to sleep,she took a little 30 min nap when I first put her to bed at 7pm then woke screaming for a good 45 minutes,when I went in and picked her up to hold and comfort her she slammed her head into my mouth nearly splitting my lip.So I put her back in bed and left the room as she hatefully screamed at me 'get out of my room"
   I try so hard with her but it seems like no matter how hard I try I CANNOT get thru to her,like somehow I'm doing all the wrong things.There is a sweet baby girl locked in this horrible state of mind and its killing me.
   I'm starting to lose my patience tonight and I cant stop crying,but I have no choice but to keep going.Its days like today that being a single parent friggin sux!But then again listening to her dad bitch and complain about it all would be so much worse than dealing with it all alone,so for now Ill have to thank God for the hidden blessings and keep fighting to unlock the mind of my baby girl.

23 Boxes Closer...

   Today alone I have packed 23 boxes so far.I have worked hard,I have taken 2 huge loads of stuff to the dumpster,a big box of canned foods to a neighbor and am still packing in earnest.I am really hoping to have everything moved in about 2 days so that I can start focusing on UNPACKING lol
   I cant wait to start my craft room and buy shelves and stuff to organize my stash and go thru it all.It will be so  much easier to do a project being able to see the inventory I already own.I have never had a sewing space or craft room where I can actually leave my sewing machine out on the desk.I have always sewed on the diningroom table but that has its major downsides of the girls getting into my stuff and having to move it all at meal or snack time.
   Well,I need to keep plugging away every box I pack is one box closer to my goal!

Moving

   YAY!
   So,on Thursday I received a call that our new house was empty and going to be cleaned and painted over the weekend and would be open and available on MONDAY (4-4-11)!!!WHoa! that was a full 11 days EARLIER than we had previously been told!Carpets are being steam cleaned on Monday morning,we have been put on the Housing Authority Inspection Board,hopefully to be inspected on Monday and then we will have one more lease meeting then we can start moving on Tuesday or Wednesday!That gives us about 9 days to be moved out of this place and to have it cleaned and ready to be inspected on the 14th.
   I got all kinds of packing to do still and honestly I'm so tired I can barely stay awake so I guess it will all have to wait for morning and maybe I will have a fresh outlook on life :)

Welcome to Baby Boot Camp

   Today was the first day I have really cracked down on the girls behavior,I'm ready to get some respect around here.Daisy went in time out numerous times and Lilly,well lets just say Lilly was constantly being reprimanded and course of action being redirected.It all really started today when I told Daisy to do something and she walked over to me and screamed "no" and spat in my face and walked off.honestly I was so freaking mortified I was speechless for a moment before I picked her a** up and put her in time out.She spent a good bit of time there because she refused to sit quietly or nicely  and kept screaming at me that she didn't like me.
   Lilly's constant issue today was the fact that when we were outside at the park,she kept making a bee line for the street as fast as possible and by the time I could catch her she was already in the middle of the street.To me this is a serious offense because it could cost her life.Every time I got her back onto the sidewalk or back to the playground I would tell her "NO" very firmly and tell her she was going to get run over,I put her in time out on the bench and then after her time let her go play agin watching very closely to see if she understood,and by the end of the afternoon this little girl was really looking at me to see if I was watching and run for the road as fast as she could instead of slowly meandering to it like she had previously.I honestly have no clue how to deal with her as NOTHING seems to get thru to her,no consequences are bad enough to make her not want to do it again and it seems like her whole entire goal is to piss me off!
   So,tonight I got meds ready,then I FORCED both girls to let me brush their teeth(I had to literally chase Lilly down) and then I got on diapers and jammies and put both girls to bed with a small cup of WATER (no more severely diluted juice or rice milk) and put them to bed with NO movie and guess what???? they were asleep within minutes :)
   Tomorrow is going to be another long day of fighting for the respect and obedience I deserve.From here on out I am demanding nothing less than respect and obedience and no more half hearted doing as we are told,if we even do it at all.I'm sorry girls but when Mama says "jump" you better be asking"how high" because I will not take this anymore!

Thankyou God

Another day is Gone

   Another day is gone into a whirlwind of memories...
   What did you do today that will follow you into the future?
   Did you make lasting memories with your children?
   Did you do what is right when the opportunity arose?
   Did you help someone?
   Did you do a kind deed?
   Were you honest?
   I have obviously had alot of thoughts running through my mind today.A number of my blogger friends have children who are fighting cancer or leukemia,and some know that their child's time on earth is now limited,unless God grants them a true miracle.My heart is very heavy for these dear families facing the hardest decisions of their lives.At the end of each day I often sit and sift thru my day and what a I did throughout my day and I think of the wasted moments and missed opportunities,not only with my girls,but with the people I come in contact with.Sometimes its just little things I regret,such as not taking the girls to the park on a nice day or not taking the time out of my sewing orders to sit down and read the book Lilly brought to me,or not taking the time to let Daisy help me as I rushed around to whip up the next batch of dehydrator cookies.Other days its bigger things I wish I had done,such as not helping the little elderly woman at the grocery store because I already have my hands full with the girls,but really how hard would it have been for me to stop and help her load her groceries?Then I think "maybe that little old woman had nobody in her life loving or caring about her,maybe me and my girls could have been the only cheer in her lonely day and I was too busy to take the time to help her"
   I have been thinking alot about how fast time is flying by,Daisy will be 4 in just over 3 months!4 years have nearly passed since I spent all those lonely weeks in a big city in a whole different state all by myself with my tiny,premature baby who faced death different times in her life,I see the beautiful wonderful spirited child she has grown into and I'm amazed that such a tiny frail baby could become such a beautiful child.

   I thank God daily for my wonderful kids even though there are days I totally struggle to stay sane lol I just want my life to count for something,not for other people to notice,but to count for God.Truly my girls are my world and even if I could go back to 4.5 yr ago when I made some of the decisions I made I would still chose to have my girls in my life,being a single mum is hard,very hard at times,but so worth it and I don't know what I would do without my wonderful kids!

Afternoon at the Park

   Excuse the "fuzziness" of my pics they were taken on my phone.I had forgotten my camera but didnt want to miss capturing the moment :)

Good Day!

   It has been a GREAT day with Lilly! Yay! She has been so good and smiley today and it has given me so much hope that better days are on the horizon!
   Made Spaghetti for dinner tonight and Lilly ate like a champ!
   Here is a pic from this weekend when we went shopping :)

Pictures WONT post to blog?

   I posted pictures with both raw cookie recipes and for some reason the pictures WONT post! I even went back and edited one and re posted and still no pics!I'm gonna be trying to get this fixed asap.I'm sorry for the inconvenience!