Happy Birthday to my Beautiful Daughter

   I cannot believe my oldest daughter turns 4 today!!In some ways it seems so much longer than 4 years ago she was born,in other ways it seems like yesterday.Alot has happened in 4 years!I am sooo blessed to be the mother of this awesome little girl!

                                               right before delivery at 27 weeks

she was so sick of the u/s lol

                                  
                                             first picture after birth

                                              2lb 12 oz

                                           first birthday! we made it all in one piece!

                                            Second Birthday!

                                            Third Birthday!

Sensory Room

   I have been slowly working on our Sensory room.We are still nowhere near done yet,but I thought I would put up pics of what we do have so far.I still want to get a bean bag for reading books and possibly get 2 more shelves to stack on top of the original two.I want to make a sensory board and get some lights along with hanging a princess canopy tent for a little quiet hideout...I'm working on it all and enjoying every moment :)
   All of the wall stickers are an interactive thing,all stickers come apart,dolls have multiple outfits and the furniture moves around the house stickers.All toys encourage the use of imagination,which is sooo good cuz I believe Daisy was born without one lol

Sensory Activity *goo recipe*

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food coloring to the water.

Measure out 5 teaspoons of water into your cup. Add 2–4 drops of

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contents. Set the cup and contents aside for about a minute so it can

settle. Begin cleaning up your area.

Add 1/4 level cup of cornstarch and swirl the cup to level the

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mixture thoroughly to make sure there are no lumps.

Mix the ingredients with spoon to ensure an even consistency. Stir the

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a solid when touched with your finger. Add cornstarch, a small pinch

at a time, if the mixture is too runny. Add water, 1/4 teaspoon at a

time, if the mixture is too thick to flow. As the mixture sits out, it will

dry out a bit, but can be reconstituted with water (add sparingly).

The “goo” should flow like a liquid when the cup is tipped but feel like

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the drains.

Don’t dispose of the “goo” down the drain in any sink. It will clog up

“Goo” Recipe

2 Days at the Children's Village

   Last week we spent 2 different days at the Children's Village playing and enjoying the beautiful weather we have been having.The girls love the water,rocks and sand.It is very relaxing and fun.The first pic is of Lilly playing with her little cousin(my sisters son)Remington is the only little person Lilly has really been enjoying spending time with lately :)

Broken Finger

   OUCHIE!!!!!!!
   I haven't been able to post in a while because I have been relaxing and nursing a very smashed,broken finger.Last week i went to make a run out to the dumpster,totally forgetting that I had opened all the upstairs windows...The breeze created a powerful crosswind which slammed the front door shut just after I had opened it,smashing my left middle finger completely snapping the top part of the bone off inside my finger.It hurt terribly bad but its finally feeling a little better :)

Golfing with Daisy

   Last Monday evening (after our very long day) Lilly went and spent some time with Nick's mum while we took Daisy to play mini golf for the first time with friends.It was calm and peaceful and I was finally able to relax and just give Daisy all my time and attention,we all had a wonderful evening.
   After golfing we took Daisy to Barnes and Noble and she got to pick out 2 Fancy Nancy books and we all shared Frappucino at Starbucks,it was so much fun.

Lillian Update

   Today is one of those days...
      Today we went to the library and she cried and carried on for most of the time we were there because she didn't want to be in the stroller,and because she didn't want any books.
   Then we went to the park with friends and walked around the lake,Lilly screamed the entire time,I had to carry her the whole way around the lake,and it was one friggin long walk!(I forgot the stroller,but you can  guarantee that wont ever happen again!lol Blah,then I had a fleeting thought of stopping at the liquor store and buying the biggest bottle of vodka I could find and drink my troubles away,then I thought of all the stuff my kids could get into and make a huge mess of and decided that wasn't worth it.So I brought them home and put them to bed.Ahhhh the peace,the quietness of nap time,blissful! lol
   The adapted jammies did NOT work!Lilly still managed to get them off and poop and pee all over her room :( Honestly,when I realized even the jammies weren't gonna work I sat and cried,I sobbed til I felt a calm peace flood over me.I realized no matter what God will not give me more than I can handle.
   Honestly having a child with such complex special needs is so very hard and daily I feel like I'm a bad parent.Daily I feel that somehow it is my fault that Lilly has the issues she has.I feel that somehow I created the mess that we are in,like somehow I could have prevented this,but deep down I know there is nothing I could have done and that now the next step for me is to be able to come to a total peace and calm about Lilly's special needs and keep reading and studying and searching until I find the help my daughter needs.I love Lilly with all my heart and it makes me so sad to see her so miserable all the time.I only wish I knew what she was thinkin,what she is experiencing inside.I wish I somehow knew how to give her peace and happiness,how I could make her sensory and anxiety issues better.I love my kids ever so much and I know full well being a parent is never easy,however being the parent of kids with special needs is even harder.That being said,I want to become an even better,more caring,more intune mother and do my best to be the very very best mum I can be!